Lainey's Place

New blog...

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 16:19:33 +0100

I've started a new blog...please feel free to check it out!

http://laineysplace1.blogspot.com/

Changing Rooms..

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 15:52:41 +0100

Ok so my Dining Room has morphed into Spare Room...and before too long, it's going to be Music Room... There's not a lot I can do about it is there?!

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A new week..

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:57:51 +0100

Had a lovely weekend. We went for a meal and had time together on Friday night then we spent time with Matty Sat night and Sunday.
David helped me to sort out some stuff in the flat. We put some things in the loft and rearranged some of the furniture a bit. Mainly to set up his hi-fi and make more room for storage too.
I'm spending most of today sorting other things out and making it more comfy and homely.
I've managed to lose a bit more weight this week too although I'm not so hung up on it as I was before. I don't need to be thin in order to be happy..I never looked at it that way anyway. I'm not shallow like that. I feel good about myself now..that's what's important..and sweeties now and again don't hurt at all!

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Tuesday feeling

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 13:31:42 +0100

Just finished sorting out paperwork... going into town for 1 or 2 things then I have appointment at 2..
Feel like the stuff that needed sorting out about the house is taking longer than it needs to..but I know that's out of my control at the moment..

We had a lovely evening on Sunday..all together.. and Matty was a lot more accepting of the whole thing than we thought he would be, which is good.
Monday brought it's own stresses but everything was good...we got to spend more time together than I thought we would and things are progressing. We managed to talk a bit more which is good. Positive.

I like Tuesdays...

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Sunday..

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 10:26:26 +0100

I tried to take some time to chill out last night. The last couple of days have been hectic with my Aunty being so unwell, having to wait around in Sunderland hospital for ages etc etc...
I'm coming down with a bit of a cold too so I wasn't 100% but it cheered me up to see that one of my favourite films was on BBC2 late on.. Snow Cake. If you haven't seen it, I'd recommend it. It's Alan Rickman (who I love) and Sigourney Weaver (who I don't love but who is excellent in this film!). Go rent or buy it now...seriously. Makes you laugh a little, cry a fair bit and be shocked all in the space of 2 hours..very clever lol

This morning I'm just taking time to sort the flat out a bit, do ironing etc.. Going to my folks house for Sunday lunch then Matty has cricket squad training later. Also, David has been away with work this weekend so he's coming over afterwards. Matty had volunteered to cook dinner for us all (with a little assistance from me!) but his training is on til 5 so looks like I have to do most of the work..there's a surprise! ..then he insists we all have at least one shot of Guitar Hero World Tour before we turn in tonight!

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New Beginnings Part 2..

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 16:38:17 +0100

Private

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The birthday,,,

Tue, 30 Dec 2008 13:08:14 +0100

Had a roller coaster few days but it's all good. It's my son's 12th birthday today. Can't believe that so much time has passed. It seems like only yesterday that I was bringing him home from hospital and completely phased at being a mum!! Even though it's a really hard job to be a mum, it's also the most rewarding and brings me a lot of pride. Never thought I'd take to it but I love it and would love to do it again one day..
Expecting my best mate and her son soon..Matty's friends are coming round later and I'm taking them all for a big feast His friends are sleeping over too so I'm sure we'll all be shattered tomorrow!
Looking forward to the New Year...this year has been sometimes amazing but mostly awful so I'm glad to say goodbye to it.. Got a lot to be thankful for and hopeful about for the new year..hoping that other people find peace too

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...

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:03:39 +0100

Was a really lovely day...thank you xx

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Christmas Eve

Wed, 24 Dec 2008 09:46:56 +0100

I've woken up earlier than I wanted to this morning but that's ok. I had friends round last night and we finished off a bottle of my Port so I'm using this time early on to watch the Holby City that I didn't get to see!

I have to go out to Doctor this morning to pick something up then Matty and I are going to get ready to go out. We're going to the Cinema this afternoon. We usually go to the Panto on Christmas Eve but Matty decided he didn't want to this year so we're going to watch a film then meet up with David and go for a meal.
I have mixed feelings this year. I'm sad because it's the first anniversary of my Uncle's death and that's going to be really difficult, especially as it's right at Christmas time...but we are going to try and look at the positives. Celebrate his life, rather than be sad about him passing away.
On the other hand, we have a lot to look forward to and be happy for this year. I have the people around me that I love more than anything and that's important.... There have been a lot of Christmasses filled with sadness for me but hopefully, the future is something to be positive about.
Matty is so excited...it's lovely. Christmas is for everyone, but especially for children and I love to make it special for him. Can't wait for Santa to get here

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Sunday morning...

Sun, 21 Dec 2008 11:11:13 +0100

I haven't been awake long. Was at a party last night with a free bar! Had a really nice night. Was my mum's birthday too so it was a joint celebration.
Friday night was lovely too. Just chilling out at home with a DVD, pizza, wine and nice company. That meant a lot to me. Just happy that there will be lots more evenings like that ahead.
I think I've pretty much got everything under control as far as Christmas is concerned. I just have to book the tickets for us at the cinema on Christmas Eve then that's it..I hope! Think I'll book somewhere for us to go for a nice meal too. Will be good.
Now got to think of ideas for Matty's birthday. I usually leave it and see what he gets for Christmas before I decide what to get him..it's like Toys R Us in our house on Christmas morning!
Anyway, today my best mate and her son are coming down. We're gonna spend the day together then she's playing in a carol concert later so I'm gonna take the kids down to take part.. Should really get us in a festive mood

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Wednesday

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 22:36:56 +0100

Toady was an early start for me..been looking forward to it since it was arranged though. It's good enough for me just to be spending time with someone but today was good cos we had a lovely day out. Was almost deserted where we went..I was surprised..but it was really nice.
Looking forward to an awful lot more of days like today. Started well and ended well too xx

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Tuesday

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 09:15:17 +0100

I was awake at stupid o'clock this morning. Dunno why cos I was up quite late talking! Anyway, I've got a load of stuff to do today...mainly just getting everything prepared for Christmas. Can't believe it's next week....
At the moment though, I can't see past our planned day out. I'm proper looking forward to it! xx
Add more later...

Learned how to adjust settings here..I'm a bit daft about all that stuff sometimes.. This blog really helps me to get my feelings out..very therapeutic. Some of it is staying public but a lot of it will just be shared between my friends on here from now on. Lots of reasons but I'm still writing!

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Quiet Sunday

Sun, 14 Dec 2008 12:07:17 +0100

Matty's gone out with his Dad for the day so I have a bit of time to relax and chill out a bit. I've had a really good few days. It's funny how, after spending so much time apart from someone, if it's meant to be, it just feels right. There was no awkwardness and most of the stress that surrounded me about him just seemed to disappear.
It was nice to just be 'normal' and it's time to put the past behind us and move on. Be positive. There are a lot of things that I feel very bad about. I'm sure that I deserve to feel bad too but now, I think I need to look forwards, not backwards. It doesn't get anyone anywhere.
Yesterday was lovely. It brought back good memories and felt really good...apart from the non-stop rain!!
Anyway, apart from one or 2 things...I'm sorted for Christmas now. I'm really looking forward to it. Should be a special time. Time to be with family and others who are important to me. Matty is so excited now too. Keeps trying to get me to tell him what he's getting so I've told him just a Mars bar..he didn't look too impressed!!
Apart from the past few lovely days, Matty also had to get glasses. He was a bit fed up about it but he does really suit them. he doesn't have to wear them all of the time...mainly just in class to see the board at the moment..but he has to go back in 6 months for a review. He says he can't wait til he's a bit older so he can get contact lenses. i can relate to it...and I want him to just have what makes him feel most confident and happy.
He also got some amazing news...he got through the Durham county cricket trial that he's been attending for the last 8 weeks. He's really put his heart and soul into it. The coach called me the other day to let me know. He said that Matty had 'shone out' and was outstanding. It was amazing to hear. I'm very proud of him. He also got a really good review at the parents meeting the other day. His teacher had great things to say about him and he's achieving marks 2 years above his age at the moment. I can't ask for more, can I?
He has his moments at home like all kids do..but he really is a treasure. I'm glad that he's focused at school and in his sport and he knows what he needs to do in order to have a good life when he's older. Hopefully, the new things that are happening for us will be a further positive influence in his life. It's all looking good.
Something was said to me yesterday while i was having lunch...I'd be lying if I said I hadn't daydreamed about the same thing...but it was lovely to hear. Made me feel more secure and hopeful for the future.

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Wednesday..

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:29:36 +0100

I'm not feeling too well today. Thought I'd stay in bed and try and sleep it off but that doesn't seem to be working much
I was tired after a late night but that's not all. Just feeling really run down in more ways than one. Never mind, sure I'll be fine again tomorrow....
I've done a fair bit of writing over the past few days and it's progressing pretty well. I'm actually surprised that I have so much to write at the moment. I thought it would take longer to get into the flow of it. I find the process really therapeutic so it doesn't matter so much to me about the quality of the work, though it would be nice if it was ok!
Think I'll make a cuppa now and update the blog in a while....

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Saturday night..

Sat, 29 Nov 2008 19:52:12 +0100

I'm actually ready early (shock horror!) and I've got about 15 minutes before I get picked up so I thought I'd update my blog.
After a very relaxing and nice morning, I went over to my mums to collect Matty. We did a bit of shopping then I went up to deliver a present to the guy who repaired and overhauled my sax the other day. He wouldn't take any money for it and he'd worked on it for a few hours so I bought something to say thank you to him. After that, we went up to visit my aunty. She's really down at the minute and still losing too much weight so we tried to cheer her up. Matty and I are also planning something special to mark my Uncle's memory at the end of December. I wanted Matty to be involved in the decision of what to do and in the planning of it. I think it's important that children aren't overlooked during the grieving process. I've worked with a lot of children who've suffered bereavement and it can be dealt with in many, many ways.
It's very difficult for me at the moment. I've suffered a lot of loss over the past year or so. One bereavement is bad enough but when it's compounded with more, it's particularly difficult. I have strategies in my life to deal with it all and I'm getting there. I know that it never leaves you, it just becomes easier to bear.
Anyway, after visiting my Aunty, Matty and I have been playing on the Wii. Tonight we had a Mario Kart marathon with a friend of ours in America. It was such a giggle. I'm getting better at it now! There are a few games that Matty has asked for for Christmas. I hope he gets them as I'm dying to have a go, especially on Wii Music! (oh dear...!)
Almost time to go party so I'll sign off for now...

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Sleepy

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 00:20:04 +0100

After just getting my new bed a few days ago, I've given it up tonight for poor Lisa. She's had a hard day and I hope she gets a good night's sleep.

I'm suffering now as I slipped earlier and hurt the bottom of my back but I'm sure I'll live. Just one more injury to put up with!

I have to take my sax to be repaired tomorrow which will be fun :/ At least I'll get it done for nothing...bonus!

I need to go out tomorrow to get an outfit for the weekend. I'm not sure exactly what to get. I might actually wait til I've had my hair cut in a couple of days and got used to the change of style.......!

I'm sleepy tonight afte being up so early this morning so I think I'll hit the sack... or rather the sofa bed! I've got David's fleece on it tonight to keep me cosy. It's so nice.. Night

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Time..

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 12:18:09 +0100

Haven't had much time recently to 'blog' at all. Life got in the way a fair bit recently, as did Christmas shopping! Not much more to go now, thank goodness. I'm especially excited about the presents I've ordered for Lisa and my mum and dad. I can't give too much away but they're being custom made and I'm sure they'll love them! Totally individual.
I wanted to get something special for them this year as they have really been amazing to me and it's a small way to start saying thank you to them.
Had an excellent writing class, the counselling sessions are progressing really well and I'm really falling into the routine of the work I'm doing now. It's so flexible for me and something I can really get my teeth into. All of that combined with my fab new house means that things are really improving for me. A new broom and all that....
I lost another 2 n half lbs this week. I'm really glad as I've had a couple of slower weeks recently but that's mainly my fault! Lots of socialising, meals out etc. I'm still doing well with it all though even though I'm aware that the festive season is almost upon me! I'm also going away not long after Christmas so that won't help either! I'm very positive that my new healthy regime will fit into the whole thing quite well as it's not been difficult to follow and can be adapted pretty easily when special occasions come up.
Might be tempted witha malteser or 2 though...sshhh!!
I'm looking forward to this evening as I'm cooking a big supper for us and we can have some quality chill out time. Tomorrow I'm hoping to catch up with a friend who I haven't seen since school! Will be good to have a natter....like we need an excuse! I'm going out with June tomorrow night too which will be cool. Looking forward to a few glasses of red with her.

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Remembrance and moving forward..

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 17:44:37 +0100

IN FLANDERS FIELDS

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Written by: Major John McCrae
May 3, 1915

Remembrance Day is always a big deal for me. I have close connections with people both currently serving in the forces and with people who have lost their lives while serving, from WW1 to the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It means a lot to me to mark the day and to think about them, although I don't need a particular day to remember. I also encourage Matty to have an awareness and understanding of what it all means and how important it is to show respect on such a day. The poem I've added has always been a favourite of mine. The words are so poignant to me.

So, this week I've really progressed with the counselling and I'm feeling much more settled there now to share stuff and work through it. It's all positive at the moment.
I was quite upset last night about a few different issues and it was actually my Dad who helped me out. He talked to me a lot and we spent the day together today, shopping in Newcastle. It was a really relaxed day. I loved spending time with him and was glad we both made the effort to go and do something together.. even if it did include a rather unhealthy but delicious lunch!!

I managed to get a few more presents in so I just really need to get stocking fillers now. I'm a lot more organised about it this year but i have had a lot more time on my hands to be able to be organised!! Having said that, the days I'm not working seem to be busier than the ones when I do!

I'm also enjoying working on my clarinet playing. I've been given a solo to play in the gig we're doing in Decemeber and rather than shying away from it, I'm actually looking forward to doing it. It's another thing to focus on and I've missed how good it makes me feel to play. I'm getting that back now, which is all good.

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Words...

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 09:23:50 +0100

A friend just sent me a very supportive e mail that included these words.
It makes an awful lot of lot of sense to me:

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take
The relationships we were scared to have and
the decisions we waited too long to make
There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters,
who doesn't,
who never did and
who always will
So, don't worry about the past
There's a reason they didn't make it to your future

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History..

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 11:28:12 +0100

I'm tired! Had a really hectic day yesterday with various appointments and other things to do. Also had an open night at band rehearsal and we didn't pack up til almost 10.30.
I thought about going straight to bed when I got home but I really wanted to watch the presidential election coverage on tv. I've always been interested in politics..mainly as my mum was studying for a politics degree when I was a young girl. She used to talk to me a lot about it and encouraged me to have an awareness and understanding..and she would freak out if I didn't go to vote!
I have to be honest and say that I hadn't followed the latest election campaign from it's inception but over the last couple of months I have become more and more interested, to the point where I stayed up til 5 a.m. this morning watching the coverage!
I'm sure that people who know me will find this slightly odd as I generally don't have too many good things to say about the U.S.A. and my opinion of the place hasn't really altered. This election transcends all of that, in my opinion. Of course it's for the American people and they've (finally) made a positive decision about their leadership but it's also a human issue. It sends an important message.
I was really moved by the result and seeing the reactions of people when they heard the news. I could rant on about the policies etc but the most moving part for me was that I witnessed an amazing landmark..history being made and I won't ever forget that.

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Ruby Tuesday...

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 08:51:24 +0100

Had a really great night last night catching up and drinking beer. Feel a little guilty as I haven't had a glass of lager in almost 6 weeks and I had a couple last night. It's not the end of the world but it won't help my weight loss this week! On top of that, it's band curry night tonight as it's half term so I guess I can expect a less that great result when I get weighed on Thursday. It's cool though..I'll be back on form tomorrow and if I put in the work over the next week then it won't be too bad. I'm determined to get to my target before Christmas and I really have only a few more lbs to go. Loooong bike rides and walks on the beach...here we come!

My mate Kath and I had a really good natter last night about everything! She's a really good mate and we've decided it's got to be a more regular thing! We've also sorted out a way for me to join the book club there. It's always taken place on a Tuesday evening and I never thought that I could go because of band rehearsal but it doesn't wrap up til late-ish so I intend to go down there when rehearsal ends and I can still take part Davids offered to drive me down there when he can get away which is cool. He's a star! Just have to tell my dad that I won't be joining him for our post band drink in the Voyager from now on! Sure he won't mind. There are plenty there to keep him company!

Time to get up and sorted I guess...though bed is very comfy. I'm tempted to stay a little longer!

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What day is it??

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 00:15:14 +0200

Ok so I had a fabulous weekend. Made lots of progress in the house and was at the boys wedding party Saturday night. Was a lovely evening at Malmaison. Everything was luxurious and gorgeous...just as was expected! We were treated to complimentary drinks all evening which helped a lot! Spent time with some of my closest friends in the world and didn't want the evening to end..
Back to reality...
Sunday, I went on a good 4 mile bike ride. I'm boosting the distance up every couple of weeks. I feel like i'm doing really well with it.
The rest of my time has been taken up with giving away stuff I don't want anymore and packing boxes.
There are lots of things I still have to buy but it's cool. I'm getting there and if I'm missing anything, I'll soon find out once I get in the new place.
I got a phone call late tonight to let me know that I can pick up the keys tomorrow. I'm going to go at lunch time. Will just be nice to have free access to my new pad it's so lovely and just feels like home which is important to me. I haven't felt like that here in ages. I have til the end of the weekend to move out so there isn't any major rush.

Anyway, I'm tired now. just thought I'd update my blog as I haven't had much chance and I probably won't much at all this week. Might also take a little while to get a net connection in the new place so I might be quiet for a couple of days but I'll be back

By the way, if you know me... I'm having a big housewarming party and joint birthday bash for June with a trip into town afterwards. I'll contact you all in due course, when it's sorted.

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